Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash
It’s the PdPR (nationwide home-based teaching and learning) season again, and I’m not sure how long will this last. To tell you the truth, I was really exhausted after just one week of handling all the kids at home. My 8-year-old boy with PdPR school classes, which he might or might not be able to access because as a new student, we did not receive the ID that should be received from the Ministry of Education. So as much as I want to support him and participate in classes, there are just so many things that we could not catch up, just because we don’t have the ID to enter the Google Classroom. This has been my main frustration right now. Of course, I have contacted the school. But they said there were none left for this year, thus we could only get a new ID next year.
To my surprise, this is not a new problem. Apparently, so many students did not get their Google ID. Maybe because the student change school in the middle of the year, or other reasons that I’m not quite sure. This Google ID is really important to all the kids. And making sure all the students receive them and having a backups ID is really important so that the Google Classroom and Google Meet session can be conducted and managed more efficiently. For now, we are managing the classes manually, i.e., I have to contact the teacher and ask about what tasks my son need to do today. And also, the teacher has to manually “allow access” when my son’s own Google ID came up to the Google Meet that they are conducting. Sometimes this went well, sometimes not. And sometimes I just let it go and let it be (read: no school for today!)
With most Malaysian working mothers being employed full-time, they are worried about the rising cost of raising a family, work-life balance and job stability.
I think all of us moms are having this frustration right now. Especially those who also work from home. With most Malaysian working mothers being employed full-time, they are worried about the rising cost of raising a family, work-life balance and job stability.
According to a survey by LinkedIn Opportunity Index (2020), more working mothers are in leadership roles at their companies, with a higher proportion of the full-time working mothers are in middle management roles, with about 46% of working mothers were found to be in such position. This indicates that gender is not a major barrier for these post. As middle managers, they play important role in managing day-to-day routines, monitoring performance and leading others to comply with the company’s needs.
46% of full-time working mothers were found in the middle management roles.
However, recent research (2021) by LinkedIn Opportunity Index found that COVID-19 has disproportionately affected women at work, which causing the women to feel less optimistic about the future. Their recent data shows that 45% of working women in Malaysia get fewer career development opportunities than men. Although many women now have the flexibility to work from home, they face other barriers such as lack of time, lack of required skills and lack of guidance from their network when it comes to achieving opportunities.
During this pandemic, it is more challenging than ever to manage a good work-life balance. This is because as a full-time working mother, juggling taking care of the kids at home while also working to meet the work demands are almost impossible. Although I am self-employed right now. I know the feeling because I have been fully employed too before. Usually, the mothers are the ones who will care for the children, manage the house, cooking and clean. And it is impossible to do all of it since most of the time, our kids are home right now.
With all these data in mind, I’d like to share a few personal guiding principles that fellow working mothers can refer to get the best of both world; i.e., motherhood & working, without losing your sanity.
Juggling taking care of the kids at home while also working to meet the work demands are almost impossible.
1) PRIORITIZE YOUR SCHEDULE & TIME-BLOCKING
Start your day early, before the kids wake up. Plan on what to do that particular day, and arrange them based on priority. You can download my Free Daily Planner here to plan your day. For me, I will block my time each day to find windows to complete a certain task. The tasks that need my most attention and critical thinking, such as creating content or any other type of writing, I will do the first thing in the morning, just after Subuh prayer. This is when my mind is most rested, and I feel I could create better and more efficiently. Then I will stop working around 8 AM, to get the kids ready with breakfast and bath. And I’ll then help my son with schooling. Usually, during his classroom hours, I will only work on “admin” tasks that I don’t need to be too focused on. This might be editing the website, analyze survey data on the coaching program that I am working on right now, networking with people online, etc. This way I could still help my son who is still really new to the Malaysian education system, who might need help during the class (i.e. sometimes he could not understand the teacher’s instructions). After he finished with the online LIVE class, which is usually around noon, we have lunch and after that, I will work uninterrupted for several hours, maybe in several 30-45 mins focused time block. During this time I let the kids use their iPad and the Educational Apps or watch Youtube Kids.
2) DON’T MULTITASK
As much as we as a mom, used to do it, and proud to be successful doing it, I still believe that multitasking could hurt more than it would help. This comes from my own experience as once a “professional multitasker”. I have been in the state of burned out a couple of times, and also have made errors that I’ve regretted because I once lived with the habit of multitasking. Now, I will try as much as I could to not do multiple tasks at once. Trust me, it is not the way to go. You will get burnout FAST! Instead, put a time limit on what task you want to solve that time. Focus on just ONE TASK at the time for the allocated time. That’s why time-blocking is important. After having done the MOST IMPORTANT work that I need to get done that day. I will then help with the kids’ school work around 3 pm-4 pm, and during this time I try to give full focus to them.
3) PLAN ACTIVITIES THAT DON’T REQUIRE SUPERVISION
There are many educational games and apps available nowadays. Some of them are Free and some have the Paid version. I have listed some of the apps that we love in a previous post (here). Ask the kids to read their books, or help them connect with their school’s classrooms to make progress with their learning. But don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes down to the children progress in learning. Each child develops at their own pace, don’t fall into comparison with other people’s kids and get stressed out with yours. Remember, our kids need us as calm and loving parent. Your best version of yourself is what’s most needed for our children in the long run.
4) REWARD GOOD BEHAVIOR
It’s easy to see fault in others, and sometimes we neglected the good behaviours of our kids (or even our spouse!). Catch them doing good things, reward them by acknowledging their good behaviour, praising them immediately.
5) EXPRESS YOUR NEEDS
Communication is an essential part of any jobs, letting your boss and your team know what you’re working on and what you’re struggling with can help make your job a little easier. You also need to communicate your needs with your spouse. Having a spouse that understands our work demand is also crucial. Tell them what are you working on, why is it important and manage the expectations around the house by prioritizing your tasks.
EXTRA TIPS: MANAGE YOUR STRESS
Learn how to manage your stress. For me, I like to spend some time alone at least 15 minutes every couple of hours, just to take a break. To breath in “new” air. To be uninterrupted, and to be aligned with my own thoughts. Find some things that could “fill your cup”. And do it frequently several times a day. It’s going to be a long road ahead of us. The best we can do is to enjoy the journey.
May Allah make it easy for us.
