How often do you take time for yourself?

Especially when you’re a mom.

Or Dad.

Last two weeks I had a breakdown. I cried almost every day. And I didn’t know how to get better. There were so many things that were bothering me.  There has been so much going on in my life, with the fact that we kinda just move back to Malaysia from Japan and all of these happened during a pandemic.

And I have been feeling this emotion but I don’t know how to let it out. I know this pandemic has been hard for everybody. And I should be grateful that I still have my family, a house, and food to eat. And I am so grateful for all of that. The simple act of having a cup of nice hot coffee in the morning without having to be facing rushed hours as we used to when we were before commuting to work and so on. I am totally grateful especially because I love being at home.

But to tell you the truth, there’s something just was not quite right. I get really agitated with everything and I can not see any good in everything that I’m encountering. And these negative feelings and emotions and thoughts keep coming up in my mind. Maybe I’m still shocked by all the things around me or maybe I just can’t accept the reality that even though we are now home in Malaysia, we still very much feels like living overseas. With the lockdown and what not.

I have always lived with the philosophy that in hardship there’s ease. But somehow a few weeks back, I can’t see this anymore.

I broke down every so often, and I cried after prayer or even just when talking to my husband. And although I always put a strong face to show up for work, for my clients, for friends I just don’t feel like myself sometimes.

So then was when I realized, that I have been repressing my emotions over this whole time. I feel sad too. But to avoid feeling sadness, I occupy myself and am overworked. I am overworked and although we’re facing a really hard time right now, I never really take it slow with, you know, the fact that I am trying to build this business.

So I was overworked to repress my emotion. And my overeating too.

Usually, before this, the kids would be able to go to school and kindergarten and I would work and never bring any work back home. So I try to manage everything during office hours.

Although it was though before this because we were living in Japan and I was in the last year of my Ph.D. when the pandemic started, now it is different while we are in Malaysia. Things are handled differently here I must say.

This verse from the Quran is something that I always hold on to whenever I feel that I lost control of myself, of the situation, and reflecting upon this ayah always lifted me up.

Quote from the Holy Quran, Ar-Ra’d (13:11)

لَهُۥ مُعَقِّبَٰتٌ مِّنۢ بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِۦ يَحْفَظُونَهُۥ مِنْ أَمْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا۟ مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۗ وَإِذَآ أَرَادَ ٱللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوٓءًا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُۥ ۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِۦ مِن وَالٍ

For his sake there are angels following one another, before him and behind him, who guard him by Allah’s commandment; surely Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own condition; and when Allah intends evil to a people, there is no averting it, and besides Him, they have no protector.

Before moving back to Malaysia, I have always taken time for myself. I make exercise a priority and spend much time replenishing myself with books or being in nature. It is harder now and a week has become a month, and now several months have gone by. I realized I have not made time for my self-care anymore.

According to Dr. Claire Nicogossian, Clinical Psychologist and Author of the book “Mama You Are Enough”,

Self-care is taking time to nurture yourself through activities that replenish energy and help manage stress. It is different than self-pampering: getting manicures, pedicures, taking baths, or having a massage are nice activities, but it is not self-care.

She sums this so well. And it made me realize that just self-pampering might not be enough for me. So with this realization, I took the steps that I needed to, to make myself better. And as I always preached, start small!

So here’s I’m sharing what small habits I am trying to improve now for my self-care.

The first thing that I tried to improve is my physical state. Because it is the easiest part. You know, eating healthier, sleep enough, and workout. All of these are a form of self-care. Then the spiritual part, I am trying to wake up for tahajjud more, tadabbur Quran is a must and have family prayer more often. To care for my mental health, I limit reading news because I just could not stand that anymore, instead, I spend time reading books. Socially, I’m catching up with friends weekly over Zoom, which helps me feel alive! Then, the emotion part, I am learning how to express my emotions with tools that I learn from my coaching training. And this really helps me get better; instead of suppressing and repressing the emotions, and recycling the emotions, I learn to accept this emotion as a natural response to events that are happening in my life and learn to express it in a way that would not harm myself or others.

If you would like to learn more about “how to release your emotions, so you could be the best version of yourself” you can book a Free 30 minutes Discovery Call with me at https://draliahmajid.com/coaching/

And don’t forget to join my free Facebook group at

I have all links in the show notes below so you can just click them.

Also, keep in touch with me via Instagram @aliah.majid share what self-care means for you?

See you next time!

Assalamualaikum.